Heated Rivalry: When a Queer Show has the Female Gaze Decoded

The internet sensation and the pop culture moment of the year, Heated Rivalry is a smut hockey romance when seen on paper, but its execution has made the show a nuanced portrayal of desire, sexuality and queer happiness. Who would have thought that the next obsession of the world would be a low-budget Canadian queer romance featuring two unknown names portraying the roles of fictional NHL stars who are arch-rivals in the eyes of the world, but actually are involved in a decade-long secret sexual relationship? Or is it more than just a hookup?

To our pleasant surprise, this book adaptation has turned out to be way more than just another queer romance; not only does it have people from the LGBTQIA+ community represented and hooked, but also the massive audience of women around the world, obsessed, and for all the right reasons. But why are women feeling this seen and resonating with a show that has no female lead, at the same time has feminine desires decoded to a T. Let's discuss!

A Romance of Two Equals

HR has what women long for in relationships: Equality in all facets. In the show, you see two men who are equals, not only in terms of sex but also in terms of opportunity, power and societal expectations. The responsibility of emotional stability and intelligence doesn't fall on just one person, and no one is looked down on as the weaker one. If they have fights, nobody is expected to act maturely. If they get intimate, no one is asked to be feminine. The show allows them both to be jealous, immature, controlling, demanding and most of all willing to change for the other. 

Women, no matter how strong and independent, are looked down on as the submissive sex, even in the modern times of so-called wokeness. The show helps us to understand that in a relationship, there is no need for hierarchy or power structure, which by default becomes a part of heterosexual relationships. Both characters are portrayed as emotionally closed, equally passionate and communicatively challenged, which in turn shatters the very expectations of hetero relationships.

Consent as a Part of Passion, not Interruption

I had never thought that a queer romance would showcase the power and importance of consent way better than any heteronormative romance show. Though asking for consent is becoming an emerging part of romance stories in today's world of fiction, HR has shown it in the most intimate and passionate moments. In such intense moments, being consumed by the heat of the moment is very easy, yet Ilya is shown as the epitome of male gentility, teaching a lesson on how consent goes beyond the initial hesitation. 

One such scene that stood out for me is during their second sexual encounter, despite Ilya and Shane being consumed in a passionate moment, all it took was a change of expression on Shane's face for Ilya to understand that Shane was panicking and calmed him. He made sure that passion doesn't override clarity.  Mind you, he was supposed to be a teenager at that time! It reiterates that consent doesn't disrupt passion; it coexists with consent. 

Fear of Being Seen

The most common variable in the lives of women and queer people is men. In this male-dominant society, it is the men who decide how PDA works in all sorts of relationships. They establish what is and what's not proper. Hence, the secrecy of Ilya and Shane's relationship is not only fueled by their conflicting feelings for each other, but it is also juggled with the constant fear of public scrutiny that comes with it. This fear controls and dictates their personal emotions because, before thinking about their own feelings, comes the anxiety of judgment from society. Which, in their case, is intensified by their popularity as two queer hockey players in the most heterosexual sport. Their secrecy is not limited to homophobia, but also to who gets to be intimate in public and who doesn't.

The Burden of Manliness

Men are typically shown as the one who takes the lead in relationships, be it while proposing or holding the fort during tough situations, or at least they are expected to. This, in turn, ends up closing them off emotionally, from childhood the definition of man is associated with terms like responsibility, bread earner, emotionally strong, etc., whereas women are the ones who are left to handle the emotional pressure for the two.

Men are supposed to be the stronger sex, who aren't given the freedom to showcase their anxieties and vulnerabilities, leaving women emotionally unsatisfied. HR not only demonstrates how men can handle their emotions without being a manchild or a tough brood, but also can manage to be vulnerable with their love partners, even when that emotional openness is achieved after a decade of struggle by both Ilya and Shane. It may take a long while, but at least it won't be draining for one partner.

For so long, both Ilya and Shane buried their feelings under their smug or playful facades. It took them almost a decade to just hug each other because hugging is one of the most vulnerable actions where you let go of yourself and let the other person feel the burden of your worries and anxieties. That hug opened a gateway for them where they allowed themselves to be more than just a passing infatuation. Women admire nothing more in a man than emotional vulnerability; the emotional unavailability may seem like an act of stoicism, but it actually creates invisible boundaries leading to emotional exhaustion for women.

Overall, HR is not just a show that portrays queer love, but it's a way to understand the female gaze. This show beautifully and maybe unintentionally reflects the desires of women, as under all the smut, romance, and sexiness lies equality, emotional openness, care and above all, desire to be better for each other. It shows how queer relationships are no different from straight relationships; the foundation for any intimate bond is the hard, vulnerable work of trying. And maybe that is the hope here: one day, relationships will just be relationships without any announcements and justifications. They can just be.